Gyatt

Tag: writing

  • Here, Take The Edge Of – How To Disassociate For Better Experience Of Life.

    For Better Experience Of Life.
    For Better Experience Of Life.

    The Second On-Coming.

    I have been blessed with a lot of conversationalists in my life. I have great talks with people in different realms and perspective, often debating, explore dimensions of existence that feels awkward to feel, and even more awkward to mention. Eventually arrive at ‘agha’, ending with “gotcha / interesting’. Conversations when being blown by art of someone else’s existence is mere overreaction. Story so shacking, inspiring or difficult it makes you wonder if it took universe millennia to just articulate that. The originality in experience is raw and foretold as truth for times to pass. Lived experiences where outside instructions or guideline were not a tool, but relying on self and awareness of being. We do have limitations in words and language but our pride and individualism is more limiting for us.

    It Started When You Were Speaking.

    Although we get caught with the story telling as one way of fully immerse our experience. Continuously being reminded of the lesson, it is like lesson so alive it lives through you in many forms. You start living specks of the past, tunnels form out of depth of raw past that still remind you how small you felt. Slowly setting the environment to experience, the same one that left you speechless, crawling the walls of meaning while shouting foreign words. Neither you nor director of your experience understand each other. They want you to learn, you want them to stop.

    Some people find comfort on telling the story, slowly stripping the scab from fresh wound. But even with gregarious proprietorship, the awning of remembrance is dark and tunneled by our vision of being saved. Casting ourselves more than what we are, exhausting the set up with our own demands. Some people try to move on, overtly avoiding existence that might speak about it like a living plague. Bending fibers of our being around an invisible boundary, caging our pride in small space hoping to never live it.

    Dreading, Maybe The Next Best Form

    I started dissociation early ages of my life despite being very detail oriented person. Nothing passed through me without many levels of scanning over consuming or dissecting it until I had proper comfort for it. Because indeed, everything I am exposed with also I am product of. I was quickly overwhelmed when I realized that things outside of me required certain use of my energies either emotional, spiritual voidness, or physical exhaustion of me being. I did not want to avoid things that are set up for me as a respect for the creators, although I was dreading certain parts of it.

    Naturally, I inclined towards disassociate, out of giving up to participate in that said set-up. Then, existence got more interesting, it is almost like you can predict the next best expression for the set-up, because now you are not scanning, absorbing or responding, you are in a overture overseeing. In the outer layers of existence, the fibers of existence overspinning to reach you, to pull you in, get in dance, you might make a difference. They spite, but only way they can reach you is to be as wide and omnipresent as you are, exist in outer layers of existence, misery, density of reason and logic. They know you know.

    Wish To Read More? Check Out:

    If You Are Ever In The Void Does Nothingness Makes Sense?

  • Tell The Winds – Who Is The Real Listener?

    Why Would You Ask Me

    I have great conversations with my friends and enjoy exchanging ideas. I can talk your ear off about random topics, conspiracies, something that we merely know about, but also can ponder and forge thoughts about it. Although, I am also super avoidant when the topics come up that are centered around me and my personal life. Or I get irritated when someone asks me specific question that has to do about me even though they already know everything. At that moment of second reminding, I feel exposed. This is when they get to know the actual truth, the real interrogation followed by silence that empties the room for echo of truth to come out, the moment they have been waiting for all their lives finally has arrived. Its short and very intense, yet it feels like that is all the reason universe was created, at that moment nothing mattered, nothing had enough to say or important enough to come up. Narrators of existence take pause alongside because what they narrate is not as interesting as what I have to say. Life becomes as real again, the moment you lived in past is being questioned now, the rush of putting words together brining the past to current set up, do they know that I have to live it twice, once to experience it another time to talk about it.

    Yes, They Don’t

    They don’t want to know, really, and they don’t care to know at all, its the act of wanting to know. A way to give them break narrating their existence all the time. I am still working on my approaches of how to be more responsive and be less scared and rushed, it is not a bad thing neither it is a good thing. It is a way to be connected, to matter to certain extend. Even though it is dreading, it is also relief.

    Build The Walls Upside

    Then I am asked that the second time and its third time reminding and fourth time re-living, this is when I am really irritated. At this point the narrators of existence moved on, it is the loudest set-up, and existence is no longer interested to empty the walls of being to fill it with my truth. To existence it does not matter no more, neither to person that is asking it, this time it matters for context. The invisible block of perception that you have been building, its like you are bottom of that truth handing bricks. This time, builder of existence pause and look down upon you for more. This time there is no narrating or pause for to listen for echoes of truth, but merely to build something that reflect that truth without telling. This repetition will go on and on because it each stages of being asked existence brings forth different functions but with same attentiveness of first time.

    When the fifth time asking and sixth time reminding, its no longer the truth or building up to the truth, now it is part of you. Out of all the strings of existence that makes you, that one string is particularly red and yellow. It shines and is self representing. Existence and the ones participating in it no longer empty the space, your truth is no longer foreign even to parts of you that were still fighting that truth, or parts of you that wanted to understand it. You no longer summon the great creators for a void of thoughts and sharp attention when you speak about your truth. Universe no longer assists you with words, grasp of air, a hand of comfort, a moment of silence. Are you traumatized?, sure. Are you depleted? absolutely. Then the plays of existence repeat. The cycle had beginning and seems to have no end, with each stage every inch of light shines through. The cords of truth that was anchored the fabric of you being absorbs all that shine. With each interaction and story telling the walls of truth that you built in earlier stages gather its meaning. It is no longer amusing building, but a fort of representation.

    Want to read more:

    Check out -> What Is The Currency of This Reality – Behind Works of Powerful Mechanism, Attention.

  • What Is The Currency of This Reality – Behind Works of Powerful Mechanism, Attention.

    Arrived attentive

    I was petting my cat as I was trying to gather my thoughts to deliver the piece and then I stopped to get my both hands on keyboard and the next minute I see my cat left my space, all the sudden that was the end of the interaction. Almost like there was a prices for me to be in their presence. I know it is sorta interesting way of looking into any interaction, but isn’t it a mere truth? when we pay attention to something as way to transfer mutual presence. We already able to see if someone is lacking attentiveness when they are around us. We see what attention does to someone, gets them to places, activates deeper human psyche. We have seen what people do for attention the extremes they attempt, the things they are willing to do. There are legit known psychological issues with people struggling with attention disorder, deficit or someone that seeks it all the time. Heck, we have even see what attention does to us.

    Well Used Currency

    It is only natural for us to be willing to give attention to things as form of sacred and mutual exchange of understanding, to perpetuate growth, to understand. Attention is very well used currency and it is because of that we see relationship grow, form respect, things bloom, realities come to fruition. It is the attention that Gods fought for millennia. It is attention that makes mass gathering, protesting, coming together in a solution possible. Lets be honest it is not necessary the person that we want but its the idea that their secret something that they have, their attention we want, because they personally cant make things happen for you with what they got, but they can make things happen with attention they can give. Many prominent figures, secret alliances, hidden networks, and secret societies have already figured out the importance of having someone on hook to milk their attention. Attention is all seeking powerful God in a mechanism tied to alchemic behavior to create, promote and exercise creation, it is exitance’s way of quick DIY when it sees something worth growing, further unfolding like an arm and a leg for a formless existence that has potential. Paired with believe you got yourself mostly sophisticated tool for creation and bring about.

    Ticket To Attention Slots.

    It is important to know that these days(more prominent) commercial attention slots are taken by chosen people with desire to humiliate, obliterate and is ready to sodomize their existence for mere shock of collective or known hook to get the fishes that swam to top to see the light. The attention span has fallen so has its value, to get the attention of people you have to be unordinary and very ambiguous. Once you got their attention, know this, you do not have much time, while the attention is floating make it known, make yourself known, make your stand known. Things that grew with attention know that it has to continuously be fueled by attention to not collapse. Once you do summon attention, all that the giver has comes with that attentions, believes, intentions, hidden spells, wrong eye, mystic eye. To protect yourself, attention must be drawn only to that one thing completely detached and separated from person you are or loved once you have. Things that grew because of the attention, know this, it has summoned type of alchemy, maybe even a spirit that you are doin their bidding. Attention floating to you and particular thing has been chosen by collective string puller to bring forth ridged manifestation.

    Want to read more:

    Check out -> Tell The Winds – Who Is The Real Listener?

  • The Secret You? Just How Much Of Your Being Is Direct Manifestation Of Your Essence.

    Close look into the unmolded being, your true essence to be forged.

    Few years ago, I developed this reaction to anything I found displeasing—I would instantly gag, sometimes even to the point of extreme vomiting. Even the most ordinary human acts, like wiping food from lips or sneezing into hands instead of forearms, would trigger it. I had to admit how needless it was, especially in gatherings to tolerate being a wrong reflection of the person, things I interact with. That is not me, I don’t want to have this overly sensitive perceptual faculties. I would also find myself rude, without even being considerate that its a condition.

    Journey to Self through the Void.

    Having to learn to feel remorse for myself, to be patient as I searched for where it stemmed from—because at my core, I knew this reaction was not me. But then, what is the difference? What is truly “me”? What makes me unique, when I am nothing but a direct product of everything I have been exposed to, everything I have interacted with? Self is fluid, like water, adapting and dissolving into what surrounds with? Or am I dense, like earth, absorbing what comes, but staying intact? I am being shaped—or am I the one shaping? When something collides with you, does it leave a mark, or do you leave a mark on it? I wonder do they seek the experience of me just as much as I want to avoid experiencing them?

    Or is there no choice at all? Are all fights inspired by fear? fear of being passively defined, forged out of wrong clay? —by physical interactions, by spiritual ties, by forces pulling at my true essence? Because existence, by its very nature, repels me.

    Odam’s Temple.

    Maybe that is my true essence, what I say, see, speak, do are truly manifested by force directly outside of me, the definition of me scattered across everything I ever experienced, as I further go through life, continue to carry adobe of definition molded from beautiful yet brutal battle, silent, unknown. Maybe it was never about me, there is no essence, no complexity, the depth of my sense as deep as my head under water. Whatever I decide to perceive experience of myself and surrounding, it is not in dire need to be associated, but simple lived, and transformed through with simple awareness.

    Every battle, there is a space where the force of what I am and the force of what is shaping me collide. It is emergence, where two bodies meet, a new form appears—one that belongs to neither, yet holds both. And in that space, a silent negotiation happens. A small part of you will accept, a small part of you will replace. A beautiful, rhythmic battle.

    This is the fight on the borderline of self—the edge where you push and pull against existence itself. Where awareness is the only weapon, and transformation is the only victory.

    If You Are Ever In Water

    I had to develop a way to soften this reaction, to stop letting it define me. My past self needed to be forgiven—for carrying the weight of something that was never truly mine. And in return, past self echoed back the memories of how unnecessary it was to react the way I did. At the same time, sending patience forward to my future self, resilience to fight with all we now know. Suddenly, it made sense. Even if I have been molded by the forces around me, even if my fluid soul is nothing but a collection of direct interactions with a world that is a also molding itself—I am present, choosing. Choosing to be understanding of myself, even if no one else is. The ever-present self remains, whether hidden beneath the voices of the false self, or shining through the reflection of true character. The wall between being—and refusing to be molded into something I never chose. To exist is to negotiate with what seeks to define us—again and again, until we choose what remains.

    Want to read more? Check Out.

    Do You Have Free Will? Is Free Will really a thing of illusion?